Most of us have been amused by the standard of English in foreign hotels. Here is a selection:
Japan
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
Germany
Berlin cloakroom: Please hang yourself here.
It is our intention to pleasure you every day.
Greece: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
France
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Name of a hotel in Lectoure: Hotel de Bastard.
Wondering what to wear? A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
Romania: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Poland
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
Switzerland
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Special today – no ice cream.
We have nice bath and are very good in bed.
Mexico: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
South Korea
Choose twin bed or marriage size; we regret no King Kong size.
Measles not included in room charge.
Italy
Suggestive views from every window.
If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter. It is kindly requested from our guests that they avoid dirting and doing rumours in the rooms. Hot and cold water running up and down the stairs.
Finland: Instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
Ethiopia: To call room service, please open door and call Room Service. Please call quiet, people may sleep.
Spain
We highly recommend the hotel tart.
Take Discotheque with or without date, in summer plus open air bonging bar
Turkey: Flying water in all rooms. You may bask in sun on patio